Well,
I have to "Learn to live with it". I suspected as much. Though the doctor did tell me, that I am NOT crazy, even if I feel like I am. (at least not because of the noise in my ears)
They did a hearing test, and the mild hearing loss which I knew I had was detected. It however is not enough to warrant hearing aids.
I don't wish this on anyone. I am sure it will take a few months but I am also confident that I can learn to ignore it, at least during the "living hours" of the day. It is the night time that scares me, I am only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep at night right now. I would not call them restful either. The white noise app on my phone helps some, at least I fall asleep, now if I could just figure out the frequency on the app that not only lets me fall asleep but also keeps me asleep I would be very happy.
Thank you all for the juju and prayers, I have a difficult road ahead but I am sure I can manage. I firmly believe that you are not given more than you can handle. Though this is surely testing my limits.
Becky
Monday, December 10, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
I feel like I am going nuts.
Update:
I got off of Weight Watchers from Aprilish until October. At which time I joined back up and am actually attending meetings. I had gained back 15 lbs of what I had lost and I am happy to say I am back down those 15 pounds now.
However, I am going nuts.
Well at least I feel like it, I have been told a lot of people suffer from this condition. I am praying that the doctor on Monday can give me some help to either learn to cope with it or fix it. The condition? Tinnitus, a constant very annoying ringing/buzzing/noise in your ears -- people commonly say it's in their head. NO ONE else can hear the noise, and for me that is the worst part. If you could hear it too, I wouldn't feel nearly as insane as I do.
Background: Due to asthma and multiple ear infections as a child I lost approximately 20% of my hearing in both ears. YOU would never know that though, because after 30+ years I have either gained that back or learned to cope exceptionally well and it is virtually undetectable now. The only time I really notice the loss is when someone is walking in front of me and trying to talk to me, when the sound is carrying away from me, I can't hear you. This buzzing sound -- I equate to cicadas in the summer -- is not new to me. I have had it most of what I can remember, I thought it was normal. UNTIL 2 weeks or so ago, when it was so INCREDIBLY loud in the middle of the night I woke up crying.
It has never been so loud that I couldn't function. Mind you, I thought this was normal, I didn't know there was actually something called complete silence, where you heard NO sound at all. I never told anyone about the sound in my head because it has always just been there. But when I couldn't sleep because of it, I knew there was something more wrong. I did some research, I brought it up to my audiologist cousin, and she assures me I am not crazy (at least not in this way), and now I have a doctor appointment with an ENT on Monday 12/10. Though I don't know what they can do for me. All my research says you basically have to learn to live with it, and avoid excessively loud sounds.
This sound is all I can focus on, I don't know how I am going to "learn to live with it" if that is indeed the case. I want to cry ALL the time. I even had my mom put her ear to mine to see if she could hear it, because at least then I would have shared it, she of course could not hear it, I didn't really expect her to be able to but was hopeful.
If you are the praying kind, please say one for me that I make it through this, because right now I would rather be deaf than have this noise. Thanks for listening. I will try to post more often again, and at least an update on what the doctor had to say.
Becky
I got off of Weight Watchers from Aprilish until October. At which time I joined back up and am actually attending meetings. I had gained back 15 lbs of what I had lost and I am happy to say I am back down those 15 pounds now.
However, I am going nuts.
Well at least I feel like it, I have been told a lot of people suffer from this condition. I am praying that the doctor on Monday can give me some help to either learn to cope with it or fix it. The condition? Tinnitus, a constant very annoying ringing/buzzing/noise in your ears -- people commonly say it's in their head. NO ONE else can hear the noise, and for me that is the worst part. If you could hear it too, I wouldn't feel nearly as insane as I do.
Background: Due to asthma and multiple ear infections as a child I lost approximately 20% of my hearing in both ears. YOU would never know that though, because after 30+ years I have either gained that back or learned to cope exceptionally well and it is virtually undetectable now. The only time I really notice the loss is when someone is walking in front of me and trying to talk to me, when the sound is carrying away from me, I can't hear you. This buzzing sound -- I equate to cicadas in the summer -- is not new to me. I have had it most of what I can remember, I thought it was normal. UNTIL 2 weeks or so ago, when it was so INCREDIBLY loud in the middle of the night I woke up crying.
It has never been so loud that I couldn't function. Mind you, I thought this was normal, I didn't know there was actually something called complete silence, where you heard NO sound at all. I never told anyone about the sound in my head because it has always just been there. But when I couldn't sleep because of it, I knew there was something more wrong. I did some research, I brought it up to my audiologist cousin, and she assures me I am not crazy (at least not in this way), and now I have a doctor appointment with an ENT on Monday 12/10. Though I don't know what they can do for me. All my research says you basically have to learn to live with it, and avoid excessively loud sounds.
This sound is all I can focus on, I don't know how I am going to "learn to live with it" if that is indeed the case. I want to cry ALL the time. I even had my mom put her ear to mine to see if she could hear it, because at least then I would have shared it, she of course could not hear it, I didn't really expect her to be able to but was hopeful.
If you are the praying kind, please say one for me that I make it through this, because right now I would rather be deaf than have this noise. Thanks for listening. I will try to post more often again, and at least an update on what the doctor had to say.
Becky
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